Striscia la notizia, broadcast every evening on Canale 5, is Italy’s long-running topical news parody programme.  It involves two comedic presenters – Ezio Greggio being the most famous – poking fun at various political figures to the sound of raucous canned laughter.  The show’s mascot is Gabibbo, a man in red costume who wildly flails his arms around and falls over in typical Mr. Blobby fashion.

The show’s most remarkable aspect however, are the “veline”, two glamorous dancing girls – historically a blonde and a brunette – who book-end the show with short, sexy dance routines. Melissa Satta (right, brunette), Thais Souza Wiggers (right, blonde) and Veridiana Mallmann are the most recent incumbents, with the likes of Elisabetta Canalis and Maddalena Corvaglia previously filling the role.

Each summer Striscia la notizia holds a “talent” competition to find a new veline for the upcoming season.  Veline a tra Poco involves a completely inappropriately dressed group of young women being eyed-up and down by the camera before performing various stunts to impress a panel of judges.  How about: jump up and down on a trampoline, ride a child’s bicycle while wearing a miniskirt and heels, demonstrate gymnastic moves (again in heels and miniskirt) or sing while standing under a shower of cold water?  I’m sure you get the idea.  All sorts of girls apply, even established models such as Cristina De Pin and Cristina Buccino, who is the girl getting dribbled upon in our clip.

Now before you start think I’m turning into an old fart, let me just say that I like a pretty girl as much as the next man (or woman) and many of the contestants are gorgeous, but conversely some things really make for uncomfortable viewing now that we’re eight years into the twenty-first century.  Sure, nobody is forcing these girls onto the show, but other then to provide eye-candy and be teased by the lecherous presenters, they serve no purpose whatsoever.  What is more, they enforce Italy’s stereotypical and chauvinistic view of young women and their role on the country’s television.

Go on, watch the clip if you must, but be prepared to be suitably outraged... 

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And the winner is... Cristina Buccino! ...but Cristina De Pin and Yong Yeng float our boats too.

You can find Canale 5 on Hotbird 8 at 13°E, transponder 11919 V.  It's part of the Mediaset family of channels.

Jodie McMullen, former Avago presenter and Miss Australia 1996, has not only been popping up as a fashion expert on QVC lately, but also dressed as a glamorous ironing housewife to promote Sky’s re-launched showbiz website.

We recognise Jodie (married name Jodie Seal) from her showreel, the second worst we’ve ever seen. The worst?  That would be Jodie’s previous showreel.  She’s a versatile presenter and actress so it’s about time somebody made a little more effort...

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“C’mon luv, where’s my shirt?” Apparently Jodie McMullen’s too busy surfing the web.

Carol Vorderman’s Roland Mouret galaxy dress is almost as famous as Countdown itself, with both green and blue versions putting in regular appearances over the last couple of years.  Today it was the turn of green, and for Carol’s chest to make another desperate bid for freedom.

Forget all about trying to make an nine-letter word or using up all the numbers, the most important questions for viewers have to be; 1) how does she get into it and 2) how does she take it off?  The sexy dress is so tight across her hips and bottom that we’re convinced it must be painted on before the start of the show, and then peeled off by a crowbar wielding helper at the end.  This, of course, is something we’d pay to see...

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Countdown is on Channel 4, weekdays at 3:25pm, in all likelihood for the rest of time.

Aquariavision on Sky Arts HD is an hour-long montage of undersea footage from a coral reef, it’s superb demo material for anyone with a high definition screen and Sky HD receiver.  The imagery is stunning, from the deep blue water to the brightly coloured fish, some of them in huge shoals, which sparkle in flickering sunlight.  There are no commercial breaks, no annoying on-screen logos, no narration and just soothing background music to accompany the pictures.  It’s really quite a beautiful experience.

Aquariavision is always shown in the wee small hours, usually at around 2am, and it’s definitely worth setting the planner for (keep checking the guide, it is repeated quite often).  The programme is exclusive to the HD version of Sky Arts therefore doesn’t present an opportunity to directly compare SD and HD broadcasts, but anyone who fails to be thoroughly impressed is clearly in need of a trip to Specsavers.

Here’s a short clip, just bear in mind that this small Flash version doesn’t do justice to the full 1080i experience, so be sure to check it out yourselves…

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Sky Arts HD is broadcast on Sky Digital EPG channel number 268, Aquarivision airs from 2am to 3am on various dates.