Thaila Zucchi's 'How Hard is Your Thing?' strand in the most recent series of Sky One's Brainiac has to go down as the finest example of innuendo for many a year.  Not since we last saw Mrs. Slocombe's pussy have so many double entendre been loaded into one programme.

Thaila has cornered the market when it comes to brunette sex-bombs, her recent credits include a lap-dancer in the cult comedy Not Going Out, as Balls of Steel's bunny boiler and as a model in FHM's Do You Think I'm Sexy?  Her list of commercials include Pepsi Max and, of course, Setanta Sports with Des Lynam “look, it's Setanta, not sultana or Santana...”  We like the way she never seems to take herself too seriously, and in case you were wondering, Thaila Zucchi is pronounced “tai-la zoo-key”.

For Brainiac, Thaila has been testing the “hardness” of various objects, then placing them in order.  “It looks pretty hard, what is it?” “It's my cast-iron cockerel.”  So you can see where this is going!  “How hard do I rank it?  Hard... ish.”  It's jaw-dropping 1970s smut, albeit with contemporary, sparkling high definition gloss.  You try not to laugh and you know Mary Whitehouse wouldn't have approved, but it's really funny all the same.

If you're a Thaila fan, keep an eye on the new series of Skins on E4 and Channel 4, in which she plays a character called Cheryl, and the upcoming fourth series of Hotel Babylon, both of which will be broadcast in HD.

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Francis Wilson, weather presenter for Sky News is officially... the worst weather presenter in the history of broadcasting.  We've all discussed it at length and come to the conclusion that he is either completely clueless, plays some sort of perverse game which involves inventing new ways to use words and phrases that make absolutely no sense whatsoever, or both.  There are four facets to his forecasts (can you tell we've spent far too much time on this?):

His first trick is to spend as little time as possible predicting what the weather will be like in the future (hard) and spend as much of the forecast as possible telling us what the weather has been like over the past twenty-four hours (easy).

His second trick - and we can't be sure if he's doing this just to win a bet - is to open a thesaurus at a random page, pick a word and try to use it in his forecast.  One day that word was “bash”, so we were expecting “a bash of rain.”  Chunk?  Oh, that's a good one.  “Today, in the north of Scotland, there'll be scattered clouds and chunks of sunshine.”

Third, Francis likes to demonstrate to the viewers that he can count.  “Temperatures overnight will be seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.”

Not one to become stuck in a rut - he's only been a weatherman since 1978 - Francis has recently added a fourth string to his bow, namely finding new ways to mangle the English language.

“Much less cold winds beginning to wake up.”  “The winds starting to get up to bring less cold weather our way.”  “As the weekend goes on, well so the less cold weather gets right in everywhere.”

What?!  The word is “warmer,” for goodness sake.  There's no such thing as “less cold.”  If temperatures increase the weather will be “warmer.”

Our video is a particularly eclectic example of the Wilson art as he starts this forecast with a Disney Club “Hi!”, then follows it with an impression of Ron Manager from the Fast Show.  “It's a far cry from small boys in the park.  Jumpers for goalposts.  Isn't it?  Mmm?  Marvellous.”

It's high time Sky handed Francis Wilson his pension and put us all out of our misery.  Their team is full of outstanding weather presenters, headed by the peerless Isobel Lang, so why we need to suffer Francis for one moment longer is anybody's guess.

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Francis Wilson, the world's worst weather presenter.  Ever.  He's probably wearing that dreadful test-card tie for a bet too...

From time to time, you'll probably realise that the news reporter you're watching simply hasn't a clue what they're talking about.  If you don't know what to look for, then here's a good example from Helena Wilkinson, reporting on BBC Breakfast.

Apart from the fact that the reason there's no sign of Kevin Peitersen is because it looks like she's standing in the Pink Elephant long stay car park, which is miles away from Heathrow's terminal buildings, the tell-tale traits of a clueless reporter are her “what they heck am I saying?” expression and... The. Slow. Deliberate. Truncated. Delivery.  ...which of course, gives her time to try to remember what she's cribbed from the Internet and scribbled in her notes.

Clueless reporter spotting makes for a fun spectator sport, give it a try and let us know when you see another!

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The BBC's Helena Wilkinson provides a good example of a clueless reporter at work.